Type A Meet Type C: (Covid-19)
Have you noticed that when your world is uncertain, fears that were buried suddenly resurface? Especially, if you are someone who is familiar with the ‘perfectionist’ label. Are you a Type A person? Then it is likely Covid-19 didn’t just scare you for your health, but your sanity. Some people thrive with stress, their engines revving and probably their brain is sharper, too, like our superheroes of the ER. Let’s be real: Whether you are “type A” or any type at all, this shift in our lives is difficult for all of us.
My intention is to highlight that flexibility and compassion for the imperfect are necessary now. The burden to hold it together and be everything to everyone is overwhelming. That slogan “we are all in this together,” is comforting. Perhaps, not so much when you’re lying awake at night, feeling guilty for not cleaning the dishes.
If you are constantly hearing “I should” statements in your head or someone else’s, I want to remind you to stop right there. It could be that being perfect may have its roots in creating a sense of control. We have less control now, especially with no answers and no end in site of returning to any kind of normal. If you feel guilty or unproductive, be mindful of how much energy it takes to carry that shame around. Stop comparing yourself to Pinterest boards or your buddies who are building cars out of erector sets. If you admonish yourself for not doing, finishing, or giving 100%, then please rethink your purpose. Give yourself the gift of a new picture of what 100% means and STAT. It cannot look the same pre-virus and it does today. The 8-hour workday is an impossibility at home. How can you answer your boss’ call while your two-year-old is crying on your lap?
How’s it going with the shared workspace and your new annoying co-worker, named “Spouse”? Torturing the enemy should look like having to finish a project in 2 hours while at home with spotty wifi, next to a 2 year old. This has major limitations on productivity. Let’s not forget to throw in bonus irritating sounds like crying, loud talking, or someone pacing the entire place while you try to Zoom (that last one is not me, I swear).
We all need to change expectations of self and other. That 100% must equal “good enough,” right now. It is the best we can expect when placed in survival mode. Biologists point out that the resiliency of a species depends on its ability to adapt to changing environments. Please, give yourself a break. Redefine your perfect. Redefine what “giving your all” means during this pandemic. It may look like making sure there is food on the table or stopping to give hugs to an anxious child. No one is going to judge you except yourself. Mind your mental health before it crashes and you don’t care about any virus. Go get yourself a mask — a metaphorical oxygen mask.
