Let’s Break UP!

You want to really know the viability of your relationship? Have a disagreement. When we fall in love, it can seem easy, exciting, and hopeful. But, we all put our best foot forward in the beginning and stuff that bothers us later we didn’t even notice early on. Towel on the floor - Aw, cute; I’ll take care of you…

Often we fall in love based on a fantasy image we have created long ago- and then when you really start to get close and depend on this person, let them in, let them see us in ways we keep close to our heart, only then do the stakes rise.

Many people find out in times of panic and stress how well their partner can suit up and be there in a reliable, safe way. That's what we all need - that secure base - trust, someone who. So, if you break up and find out your partner ghosted you or does some stuff that just feels out of proportion to what happened, consider it a gift wrapped in sand paper --  a learning laboratory - for you to consider how you may have missed some red flags in your fantasy or how you may have created blind spots. Or possibly how your own actions may be creating more fear and panic for the other. But consider you never really  know someone until the shit hits the fan and you see how compatible you are and if your partner has enough healthy coping skills to allow for healthy repair.

And if all of this sounds confusing - give me a call and let's talk about it.